Tuesday, July 13, 2010

INTEGRITY

Over the next few weeks I'll be blogging about the 10 core values I'm trying to build into the lives of my three sons (see here). Today's topic: Integrity

"They came to him and said, “Teacher, we know you are a man of integrity. You aren't swayed by men, because you pay no attention to who they are; but you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth." Mark 12:14

Integrity can be tough to define. So I want to begin by talking about bananas. That's right bananas. If you go to the store and buy bananas what you are basing your decision on is the peel (stay with me). You never actually see the meat of the banana; you just know it's there. All you ever saw was the peel. But every time you pull the peel off the banana , there is a banana inside. You know exactly what's going to be in there. You don't peel a banana slowly with a sense of anticipation, hoping there will be a banana inside. You know exactly what's going to be in there. That's integrity. What's on the outside is an indication of what's on the inside.

Integrity means that who you are in public is the same person you are in private. It is ultimately the personification of truth. When we build our lives on the truth of God's Word, we begin to live from the inside out. Ultimately integrity makes us trustworthy.

When our character is defined by integrity we can be trusted to lead. When we lack integrity, we tend to want to control or put ourselves in a position of power over people. The depth of your integrity determines how you will use authority when you are entrusted with it.

If you look at the life of Jesus you will see this play out. Jesus used his authority as an extension of his power. He used his power to serve. With his place of authority he chose not to hold power but to release it to those around him.

"Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28: 18-20

As men we were created to lead. As leaders we must pursue integrity. If you simply look around in our culture you will see the consequences of pursuing authority without first becoming a person of integrity. As the church we need to set the standard for integrity. Let's go back to the banana for a moment. If someone could peel you what would they find? Is what's on the outside a reflection of what's on the inside?

Friday, July 9, 2010

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

All men need respect. The problem is that our culture doesn't know what that means anymore. Here is a helpful post on where to start.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Rites of Passage and the Journey to Manhood


We live in a culture of “lost boys”. Sociologists and cultural anthropologists now tell us that we have entered the era of “emerging adulthood”. That’s just a term for 30 year olds who still live in mom’s basement playing video games. When you look at the data the numbers are strikingly high among young males. One of the reasons for this is that our culture does not define masculinity and we don’t train our boys to become men through a rite of passage.

Through the guidance of some of my mentors I have determined to reverse that trend with my own sons. A few days ago on June 30th I took my oldest son Elijah on an overnight trip for his 12th birthday. The purpose was twofold: 1. Have blast with my 12 year old son, 2. Unveil the 4 year plan for his journey into manhood which will culminate with a ceremony on his 16th birthday.

I laid out 10 core values for him to build his life on and intentionally develop over the next 4 years. Those values are:

  1. Integrity
  2. Honesty
  3. Purity
  4. Self-Discipline
  5. Courage
  6. Humility
  7. Servant-leadership
  8. Loyalty
  9. Kindness
  10. Perseverance

Between now and the time Elijah turns 16, I will enlist the help of older men that I know and that he respects to spend time with him in strategic ways to discuss one or more of these values. On his 16th birthday I will ask those same men to join me as we gather around Elijah and each will give him a final charge and we will welcome him into the circle of manhood with all of the rights and responsibilities that go along with the title.

Over the next 10 weeks I will devote one blog entry to the 10 core values and explain why I chose them for Elijah.